Hard Spots in My Days~

I love holidays and birthdays, well...I used to. For years now I don't like them. They hurt because they are just days that remind me of how much I am not needed or wanted. They hurt because they remind me of just how much I wish that I could invite absolutely everyone and know that they actually wanted to be there.

I used to let that hurt build up into anger. Anger makes you feel stronger, protected. Now I am learning to just let it stay where it really is..

I am trying to turn to God with my pain AND any anger that creeps in, and use these reminders to pray for His healing in my heart and in my husbands. Jesus is the only answer.

I am never really alone and sometimes alone is good. I am determined to embrace the pain as much as I can and to be more and more like my Jesus.

I still smile and do my very best to never show a hint of sadness. I want my kids to feel about holidays the way I used to. ~