I am not a crier by nature. People that cry a lot usually annoy me and I find most crying disturbing.
Having children has led me to examine crying and the appropriate response to it.
Firstly, just like laughter, there are appropriate and inappropriate times to cry. It is wrong to laugh at someone Else's misfortune and it is wrong to cry when we don't get our way.
I had to think a lot about this one; and look into God's Word for His opinion. Luke 19:41-42 and Romans 12:15 are two verses that remind us that God intends for his people to cry. Why cry?
Crying shows tenderness and, in Romans, empathy. Empathy is something that humanity is severely lacking! We want to be "tough" and we want our kids to be tough. Tough people aren't supposed to get hurt. Tenderness is weakness.
Having children has led me to examine crying and the appropriate response to it.
Firstly, just like laughter, there are appropriate and inappropriate times to cry. It is wrong to laugh at someone Else's misfortune and it is wrong to cry when we don't get our way.
I had to think a lot about this one; and look into God's Word for His opinion. Luke 19:41-42 and Romans 12:15 are two verses that remind us that God intends for his people to cry. Why cry?
Crying shows tenderness and, in Romans, empathy. Empathy is something that humanity is severely lacking! We want to be "tough" and we want our kids to be tough. Tough people aren't supposed to get hurt. Tenderness is weakness.
But what about Ezekiel 36:26 ?
"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh"
No, I don't think that crying over every little thing is healthy or acceptable behavior. Children should not be allowed to wallow in tears of self pity or anger.
I do want children that can be real with me and , more importantly, I want children who walk in compassion and empathy. When my little girl falls down and hurts herself, I want her to come to mommy or daddy for comfort - and compassion. I am supposed to show her Jesus. If she cannot come to me for empathy she will continuously harden her heart and hide her feelings. If they cannot come to their parents they will not go to Jesus or, eventually, their mate. If I don't teach them how to empathize, they will truly become selfish and cold adults, (tough).
God created tears and crying for a reason. They are not the enemy. A selfish heart is what turns them into a bad thing.
I CAN SAY FOR CERTAIN, THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T SHOW YOUR FEELINGS, DOESN'T MEAN THEY AREN'T THERE.
I grew up learning to hide my feelings. If you are raised with emotional manipulators, bullies or an emotionally distant mother, you learn to harden your heart in self defense. I have done this my whole life. It took me years to be able to go to my husband and let him hold me while I finally cry. It took trust and humility to show how I really feel.
I want my kids to have better.
It's hard to find balance. You look around and see grown men crying EVERY time they go to church or youth that pen up all that negative emotion until they become violent, angry bullies.
I think the key to balance is always the same, Jesus and common sense.
I don't want my kids to break down in tears every time they get bumped. I don't want emotional basket cases or brats. But telling my kids that I'm really sorry they are hurting and kissing that scratched knee or soothing away fear isn't going to cause that to happen. My kids are pretty smart little cookies and I don't think they will have any problem understanding the difference.
"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh"
No, I don't think that crying over every little thing is healthy or acceptable behavior. Children should not be allowed to wallow in tears of self pity or anger.
I do want children that can be real with me and , more importantly, I want children who walk in compassion and empathy. When my little girl falls down and hurts herself, I want her to come to mommy or daddy for comfort - and compassion. I am supposed to show her Jesus. If she cannot come to me for empathy she will continuously harden her heart and hide her feelings. If they cannot come to their parents they will not go to Jesus or, eventually, their mate. If I don't teach them how to empathize, they will truly become selfish and cold adults, (tough).
God created tears and crying for a reason. They are not the enemy. A selfish heart is what turns them into a bad thing.
I CAN SAY FOR CERTAIN, THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T SHOW YOUR FEELINGS, DOESN'T MEAN THEY AREN'T THERE.
I grew up learning to hide my feelings. If you are raised with emotional manipulators, bullies or an emotionally distant mother, you learn to harden your heart in self defense. I have done this my whole life. It took me years to be able to go to my husband and let him hold me while I finally cry. It took trust and humility to show how I really feel.
I want my kids to have better.
It's hard to find balance. You look around and see grown men crying EVERY time they go to church or youth that pen up all that negative emotion until they become violent, angry bullies.
I think the key to balance is always the same, Jesus and common sense.
I don't want my kids to break down in tears every time they get bumped. I don't want emotional basket cases or brats. But telling my kids that I'm really sorry they are hurting and kissing that scratched knee or soothing away fear isn't going to cause that to happen. My kids are pretty smart little cookies and I don't think they will have any problem understanding the difference.
Hebrews 4:14-16
14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,[a] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need
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